Changes
by LoquaciousGirl
Summary: Lily Evans has always disliked James Potter to an extremity. But when changes take place, she doesn't know what to think of him. She's never done well with letting go. Will she be able to, or will she continue to fight her feelings forever?
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, come on, Evans give me a break!"

"No! You don't deserve a break!" Lily Evans yelled with all her might, "I gave you a break the first couple times you did this, thinking you might turn it around. But now, four years later? No, I'm not going to give you a break! This is ridiculous! You're acting like you're ten. When are you going to grow up?"

"I'm as grown up as I can possibly be Evans. This is just who I am!"

"No it's not. You're not a bully, Potter, and you know it! You know it, I know it, and everybody else knows it. And if this is who you are, then how the _hell_ can you expect me to go out with you?"

Lily helped Severus Snape up and walked off with him. Before she was out of sight, she yelled, "It might be a good idea to find out who you really are! Maybe then, I would have a different view of you."

That was fourth year. Lily closed her eyes, sitting in the middle of the Common Room. That was not one of her favorite memories. Deep down, she had known that James Potter was a good, kind, person. He just refused to show it, thinking that it was cool to do these things that he did. Severus always used to bother her about him, telling her never become even aqauintences with him. That was before he called her an unspeakable word for no apparent reason.

Fourth year was easy. In fourth year, James Potter was a jerk, Severus Snape was her best friend, and she herself was top of the class. That was it from first through the middle of fifth year. But then Snape called her a mudblood, and that changed everything. In sixth year, something seemed to change about Potter. He still pulled stupid pranks, and got endless detentions, but they were harmless. Snape was only bothered when he deserved it, and Lily knew he did. Snape hadn't tried to change for Lily, he was still aiming to be a death eater, and he still hung around with the same people, who still did the same evil things to innocent muggles and muggle borns.

Now James was Head Boy. When Lily saw James sitting in the Prefects Compartment, she really wasn't surprised. Not only because he had been so much better in sixth, but because she knew, and she was sure Dumbledore knew, how much potential this seventeen year old had to be whatever the hell he wanted to be. And she also knew that he was a great leader. I mean, it takes a great leader to become the most popular guy in the school.

So, Lily took her seat, and spoke to the prefects about what she needed to speak about. She knew none of them were listening, because they were all staring in awe at James, except for Remus, who Lily had suspected already knew.

Now, it was late October. James had been so nice to her, and everyone else since the beginning of the school year. Well, except the Slytherins, but he hadn't bothered them yet. He just ignored them. Lily didn't know what to think of him. Lily found it hard to let go of things, and she found it hard to let go of dislike for James. Lily would smile warmly at everyone she knew and liked whenever she saw them. She couldn't do that to James when the Marauders passed in the hall. She couldn't keep from staring at anything but him when they went on patrols. Lily had never learned how to welcome the new, unless it was good.

Lily knew this was good, somewhere. But a bigger part of her was telling her that he had only changed for her. And not really for her, but so he could have her. So that he could show her around like a little trophy, then go back to being an idiot.

It was a stupid theory, but Lily had been through it before. By a heartless guy. Lily didn't want to go through it again.

She didn't fancy Potter, that was for sure. They could have been friends though, by now. It was only Lily's unwillingness to let go that was stopping them.


	2. Chapter 2

Her name was Gertie Mitchells. She had dark skin, shoulder-length, beautiful, curly, dark brown hair, and she was tall. She had a wonderful sense of humor. She had the best personality. You would never be able to stop her from smiling.

Gertie's 'best friend' was her cousin Layla. Layla Mitchells was a second year. She was the sweetest little girl you'd ever meet. She looked just Gertie, except she had straight long hair, but you could see it in their faces. She was a half blood. Those two were always together.

Gertie was a pure blood. To Slytherins, she was a _major_ blood traitor. Everyone in that house absolutely hated her.

One train ride, when Lily was newly a fifth year, and Layla was newly a third year, Gertie didn't come. Lily sat in the compartment with Severus, Deeny Laurels, and Nia Joseph. Gertie and Layla had not shown up yet.

"Wait here," Lily had said. She walked around the train, looking in every compartment, until she found Layla sitting alone in one, crying. She opened the door.

Layla hiccuped and looked at Lily.

"She's gone," she whispered. Lily's heart started to beat rapidly.

"What do you mean?"

"They killed her!" Layla yelled, "Damn Death Eaters killed her!"

Lily held on to the door so she wouldn't fall.

"No," Lily whispered, "No they didn't!"

"Yes they did!" Layla retaliated hoarsely, "Can you please just go?"

Lily respectfully closed the door and left Layla alone. But she couldn't go any furthur. She collapsed on the floor and started to cry. She had just lost her sister.

Now Layla was thought of as Lily's little sister. She was in fifth year now, she seemed so big. She looked alot older. Those other girls, Nia Joseph and Deeny Laurels, they were still Lily's friends, but they weren't exactly there for Lily. They were never really close. Layla was her real friend, her adopted sister. Lily knew Layla needed someone like Gertie around after she died, and Lily needed that too. So they took eachother.

But Layla would never be able to help her with James. Even though it was only a two year difference, Layla was in the midst of growing up, and Lily was too, but much farther. Lily needed Gertie. She could talk to Gertie about anything. Lily felt tears pour down face. She had been sitting in the Common Room into the late hours of the night, trying to figure out exactly what was going on. She thought of what Gertie would tell her. She didn't know. Lily started to cry hysterically. She forgot about everything and thought about Gertie. It wasn't fair that someone as wonderful as her had to go.

The door opened. Sirius Black stepped in, took one look at Lily's face, and sat down on the couch.

"Hey, Evans," he said, "What's up?"

Lily smiled through her tears. She and Sirius had become friends in sixth year. She only had to say one word.

"Gertie," she choked out.

Sirius envoloped her in a hug. Lily began to cry harder.

"I just miss her, Sirius," she said, "She was like my sister."

"I know," Sirius said sympathetically, "But she's watching over you. She's in a better place now."

"Oh, don't give me that load of crap," Lily let go of Sirius, wiped her eyes, and stared at the floor. Sirius laughed.

"Alright," he said, "I know Gertie was like your sister. But if you want, I could be like your brother."

"You _are_ like my brother," Lily smiled, "But that doesn't make me miss her any less."

Sirius lookeds to the ceiling.

"I'm trying here, God!" He said. Lily giggled.

"Alright, Sirius," She said, standing, "You've done enough. I'm gonna go to bed now."

"Ok. You sure you're alright?"

Lily nodded and went to her dormitory. She wondered how she could have gone all these years without Sirius.

The next day, she and James had patrols at ten. Lily ate lunch with Layla, not looking forward to the hours ahead. She poked at her food.

"Eat Lily," Layla commanded, "What's your problem?"

"Nothing," Lily mumbled.

"Lily, I don't care what it is, you put that steak in your mouth or I will have to force feed you!"

Lily stared at her strangely.

"What?" asked Layla, "You need your nutrition."

"Well, what if I don't want my nutrition?"

Layla did not reply, but grabbed the steak and tried to stuff in Lily's mouth. Lily's arms flailed around, trying to smack Layla's hand. But Layla would not give up until Lily had taken a bite of the steak. Lily heard laughing a few seats away. She saw it was coming from James Potter.

"And just what is so funny?"

"Oh come on. She tried to stuff that in your mouth like she was your mom!"

Layla snorted.

"She needs her nutrition!" she called over to James.

"Yeah," James smiled. Then he went back to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Lily was disappointed. Do you know how many cracks he would made for that a couple years ago? She was hoping things would go back to normal. That wasn't working out.

"You fancy him," Lily heard Layla whisper. She looked at her in disgust.

"No!"

"No? Oh, ok," Layla said. It wasn't sarcastically either. That was what Lily loved about Layla - she just accepted things.

Soon, Layla left, with her seventh year boyfriend - Anthony Jonson. Lily didn't approve. This kid was a heartbreaker. And trust me, Lily knew it...He's where the Trophy Theory came from. But Lily didn't say anything. She didn't want to waste her breath; Layla was too stubborn to listen.

Ten o' clock was nearing. Lily wondered how the night would go...


	3. Chapter 3

Lily stared at the floor as she walked with James beside her. She tried to make herself talk, but no words came out. She didn't know what to do here. She had reached a point where she didn't want anything to do with James Potter. She was tired of the awkwardness in the air, tired of the silence. She wanted to have a conversation. But she didn't know how to start. She realized James' eyes were on her. Then he spoke.

"Are you ok?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well Sirius said -"

Lily turned abruptly. She stared James in the face.

"What did Sirius tell you?" she asked urgently.

"Just that you were, like, sad, and crying and stuff, and yeah.." James stopped speaking. He'd been on the recieving end of Lily's yelling too many times.

Lily put her hand to her head.

"Oh, I am going to kill Sirius!"

Well, Lily," James said awkwardly, "You know it's not bad to be sad and stuff-"

Lily cut him off.

"Did you just call me Lily?"

James cheeks turned slightly red.

"Uhhh..."

It was quiet again after that. Lily sighed and looked at James.

"Aren't you tired of this?"

"Of what?"

"Of this 'no talking' thing. It's like we're in class!"

"Well, yeah. But I thought that you hated me. Why would you want to talk to me?"

"I never _hated_ you. But honestly, this is ridiculous! What's your favorite color?"

"What??"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Um, red.."

"Animal?"

"Tiger."

"Boy name?"

"My favorite boy name?"

"Well, yeah. I had mine picked out when I was like seven."

"Um, Barry."

"I don't like that name."

"Why not?"

"I just don't. Girl name?"

"Virginia."

"Damn, I feel sorry for your kid."

"Hey! What do you got?"

"Harold and Gertie."

"_Harold?_"

"What? It's nice."

"No it's not! That's the name of some fat kid who has no talent at all."

"Don't insult my future son."

"Well look - you don't like Barry, I don't like Harold. How 'bout...Harry?"

"Well, it's better than Barold."

"Ok...Whoever has a boy first gets to name it Harry, then."

"You're on."

"So...What's your favorite color?"

And the night went on like that.

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LILY'S POV

It's something you can't explain. The beat of your heart, the woosh of the wind, the intake of air. All of the sounds you hear when it is completely quiet. But it is never quiet. Not even at one thirty in the morning. There are my footsteps pacing around the dorm. People breathing while they sleep. You can even hear me blink and move my eyes. I can hear nothing, yet I can hear everything. The wind against the window, the small sounds of people squirming in their beds. My lips parting, thinking about many things at once. My stomach grumbling, strangely for pancakes. Here, now, at the quietest moment of my life, I've never heard such an explosion of noises.

I can't sleep. Tonight was tiring. I spent the whole time talking to Potter. Who knew that could take so much out of you? I'm sure many people who were out after hours were thanking the stars that me and Potter were...what? Friends? I don't know, and I don't wanna think about it right now. Unfortunately, that just makes me think about it more. What's the point of being a witch if you can't even block out your thoughts and go to sleep?

Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I never went to Hogwarts. I wonder what would have happened if I lived life as a muggle. I think about it, and then I feel so glad that I came to Hogwarts. But now was not one of those times.

See, if I never came to Hogwarts, I would have never met Potter. I wouldn't have had a guy stalk me, for like, five years that I hated. Well actually...who knows? I probably would have had someone do that to me if I was a muggle anyway. And we'd both become these muggle types of Head Girl/Boy, and we'd end up 'friends', talking about boy names. It seems to be my destiny.

I don't know why life is so complicated. I don't know why I'm _making_ it complicated. I'm obviously becoming friends with James. Why can't I just accept that? Plus, I just called him James. But whatever...I'm starting to fall asleep, and I'm not going to let this get in my way. I've thought too much for oneday.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys, if you're going to favorite or alert this, please give me review! I have two reviews, but they are from the same person, and that person is my best friend, so it doesn't really count. You know what I mean? Well please review, if you love it, hate it, or don't even know what I'm talking about. Please!!

LAYLA'S POV

Lily's been quiet these past few days. It's weird because she's usually so talkative. She won't even tell me what's wrong. She seems to have alot on her mind. Maybe I should just leave her alone. It's probably not that serious.

"Hey Lils," I said softly, "Why aren't you eating your pancakes?"

"I'm not hungry, Lay," she replied.

"But - but - they're pancakes!"

"I know."

"Oh my god! Are you going anorexic?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on Lily! I know you're quest to be thin."

"Are you saying I'm not thin?!"

"No! But you're not going anorexic, are you?

"No, Layla. God, your brain..."

I felt someone behind me. I turned my head back and saw the face of James Potter.

"Hi Layla!" he said, smiling at me.

"Uh, Hi..."

This is weird. Me and Potter don't really talk.

"So, uh...you know Lily right?"

I pointed to Lils' shoulder. Potter turned away from me.

"Oh, hey! I didn't see you there..."

Lily gave him a funny look. I did too. He didn't notice her? She's right next to me!

"Uh, just wanted to tell you that we have to patrol tonight."

"I thought we were patrolling on Friday?"

"Well, see, I have something to do Friday night."

"What?"

"Just something. I'll see you tonight ok?"

Potter walked away. Lily started to grumble.

"Bloody idiot. What if I had something to do tonight?"

I could see she wasn't too upset. I smiled.

"Well do you?" I asked.

"Do I what?"

"Do you have something to do?"

"Well, no. But don't you think that was inconsiderate?"

"Sure."

Lily looked annoyed. Not totally unexpected. I'm like her official annoyer.

Anthony might be coming to ask me to sit with him soon. Oh, I hope he does. A non-talking Lily is no fun.

But the thing is, whenever Anthony comes here, she gives him this weird look, and he seems to smirk at her a little. I dunno, it's weird.

Maybe I'll just go to him today.

"I'll see you later, Lils, k?"

"Yeah..." she answered vaguely.

I walked away.

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She was going to be with Anthony again. That was all Lily was thinking as she watched Layla walk away. She wasn't trying to get Layla to leave Anthony, but she didn't want her to get hurt. Besides the fact that he was two years older than her, Anthony was only a nice guy until he got bored of you. Anthony got bored of girls really easily.

Lily had spent three months with Anthony in fourth year, when she barely knew Layla. She thought he was perfect, with his golden tan, soft brown eyes, and dirty blonde hair. They would meet in the Room of Requirement on Friday nights and snog.

"Hey, Lily," he said to her once, "You're so beautiful, you're like...something I can't even explain. You are honestly the best girlfriend I've ever had."

The next day he came up to her, handed her a piece of paper, and walked away. Lily opened it and it said:

_Dear Evans,_

_Sorry Lils. When I said you were as beautiful as something I couldn't even explain, I meant it. However, you're rather boring. We have nothing to talk about. So, bye. _

_Sincerely,_

_Anthony._

_P.S Thanks! You're looks got me alot more friends!_

Maybe the idiot thought that last comment was positive, who knows? Lily spent the whole night crying, with Gertie there to comfort her. The next day, Anthony didn't even look at her. He was laughing with his 'new friends'. The week after that, Anthony had some girl named Marie Hesterman on his arm. She looked just as happy as Lily had.

Then the same thing happened to that girl.

You think people would learn. You think people would learn not to go out with someone who had a bad reputation.But every three months, Anthony had some other girl on his arm. And this time, it happened to be Layla.

Layla had managed to go beyond the three months. In fact, next week was their 'five month anniversary'. Lily wondered how long this would last.

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NIA JOSEPH'S POV

I sat at breakfast with my best friend, Deeny Laurels.She had that grin on her face, and I knew she had some gossip to tell me.

"What is it?" I asked wearily.

"You know Lily Evans?" she asked me.

"Uh, yeah, she's in our dorm Deeny. We used to talk to her all the time."

"She is? We did? Oh yeah. Well, I heard that she and Potter were snogging last night on patrols."

I swallowed my juice quickly so I wouldn't spit it out.

"What?"

"Yeah, I know! I thought she was supposed to hate him."

"That can't be true."

"Gossip never lies."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're right, it always lies. But who cares? I can't wait to tell Jasmine Tomas!"

"Oh, no, don't do that! You know she's the worst gossip in the school."

"Duh, that's the point."

"That's mean, Deeny."

"Since when have I been known to be nice?"

I looked at her in disappointment. Deeny Laurels had changed alot since fourth year. I don't know why I'm even friends with her anymore. Maybe because she used to be so sweet...maybe I thought she could turn back around. But she probably couldn't. I mean, if it's been three years, what can I expect?

"Whatever. Do you what you want."

Deeny frowned at me.

"Thanks, but I didn't need your approval. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to the Hufflepuff table to see Jasmine."

I stared after her. And I wondered how many problems she would cause _this time._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I have so many story alerts, and so little reviews! Come on people. Take some pity on me. How hard is it to press a couple of buttons?

NIA JOSEPH'S POV (continued)

I couldn't take it anymore. Deeny may be my best friend, but I'm not going to let her hurt anyone else. She'd done too much damage to Harriett Anderson and Sam Jude's relationship. If Potter and Evans really were snogging last night, they obviously didn't want anyone to know! And I doubt they were, anyway. Where do they come up with this stuff?

Anyways, I went straight up to Lily and told her what they were going to do. Maybe I couldn't prevent it, but I could sure warn her! She looked at me funnily.

"I wasn't snogging Potter last night...We were just talking!"

"_You_ were talking to _Potter_?"

"Yeah, I know, hard to believe. But we had a conversation. We weren't, by any means, snogging."

"Yeah, well, that's what I figured. The thing is, Deeny is gonna do what she wants and no one can stop her."

"But, Deeny doesn't do that kinda stuff! And she used to always listen to us, like we would freaking kill her if she didn't! I mean, I'm not proud of that. But she went from being pushed by everyone to listening to no one?"

"Well, ever since her mom died..."

"Oh my god, her mom died?"

I stared at her silently.

"Death Eaters," I whispered.

I noticed that girl sitting next to Lily. What was her name, Layli? She was clenching her fist, and her face looked absolutely murderous.

"They just kill everyone, don't they?!"

She left. Just now, did I remember Gertie. Lily had a look of sorrow on her face.

"Thanks for the warning Nia," she said softly, "I-I'll deal with it ok? I gotta go find Layla."

I nodded. She left.

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LILY'S POV

I knew Layla was somwhere...just where? I was worried about her. Usually Layla would brush off something like that. I wanted to know what was going through her head. But I couldn't find her anywhere to talk to her. It was getting frustrating, and I had to go do patrols soon.

Well, I'd have to skip them if I didn't find Layla soon. She was more important than finding a bunch of kids out after hours. Actually, if I skipped patrols to look for her, I would sort of be patrolling, because she was _one_ of the kids out after hours. Well, let me not worry about this right now and find her. I just want to know if she's ok...

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JAMES' POV

Where the hell was Lily? She was supposed to be here about fifteen minutes ago! This girl is never late...

Okay. If she's not here by ten thirty, I'll have to go looking for her. She'll probably show up right?

15 MINUTES LATER...

Craaap! Where is Lily?! This is so weird. I guess I'll have to get the Marauders Map.

I went through all the stuff in my dorm until I found the 'old piece of parcment' that I was looking for. I tapped it with my wand.

_"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."_

A map of Hogwarts and all its inhabitants covered the paper. I spotted Lily easily, in the Common Room actually, with Layla Mitchells. Well, not a really big surprise there. I should go downstairs then.

I went down the stairs and saw Lily holding Mitchells, who was crying. They both stared at me. I stared back awkwardly.

"Well, I don't mean to intrude-"

"You're not intruding," Mitchells said softly, "Thanks Lils. I'll see you later."

She went up to her dormitory.

"What happened? Where were you?" I immediately asked her.

"I was looking for Layla."

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah. She's fine."

I started to walk back upstairs, but something made me turn around.

"Are _you_ ok?"

Lily stared at me. Her eyes seemed dead and cold at that moment. Lost. She closed them.

"Yeah, James, yeah," her voice trembled a little, "I'm fine."

I stared at her a little skeptically and walked away.

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LILY'S POV

As the words spilled out of my mouth, I knew I was lying. I watched him walk away, regretting every word I said. I was not ok. It was always tough being without Gertie, but now was it worst. I needed her more than ever, and Layla needed her even more than more than ever.

It was the first time I ever really thought about it, but I realized that next year, there was no Hogwarts. There were no classes, no patrols, and worst of all-no Layla. Layla is going to be in sixth year next year. Who could I count on then? Who would be my best friend then?

I held my head in my hands. This is too much. I've still got alot months left. Maybe I should just enjoy them. Maybe I should stop worrying. And maybe I should just _go to bed._


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey guys, I feel like I haven't updated in a while, even though it's only been four days. I do have a legitimate reason though - my internet was't working. We got it fixed, and in these past four days I've written five chapters and two one shots! You can get so much done with no internet...

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The next day, all Lily was asked was 'if she had really been snogging Potter'. All James was asked was 'if he had really been snogging Evans'. Their answer was always no. The asker would then walk away, their face ridden with disappointment. Who knew Hogwarts was so gossipy?

Lily and James brushed it off, rumors weren't that important. Lily guessed Nia had been so worried because of some terrible rumors that went by, and basically ruined relationships, but this one wasn't so bad. Lily didn't pay much mind; she was mostly worried about Layla.

Layla had reminded her that Gertie's eighteenth birthday was coming up soon, November 6th. Lily couldn't believe she had forgotten; she was disgusted with herself. She had spent so much time thinking about Gertie these past few days. How could she not remember her birthday?

But Lily didn't dwell on that for long. She knew Layla was hurting. On birthdays, Layla and Gertie would always say 'A birthday has no real theme. It must be a mixture of the holidays.' Then they would get a Christmas tree, dress up in Halloween costumes, and go an Easter egg hunt. Then, one of them would dress up as a squirrel and call themselves the 'Birthday Squirrel', because the bunny was taken, the fat magical dude was taken, and everything scary was taken. They said they couldn't think of anything but a squirrel.

Lily knew that Layla was planning to do that this year. She wanted to do it only this year, and she wanted to do it this year because Gertie would be turning eighteen. And since Layla was a half blood, that meant Gertie would be coming of age in both her worlds. She wanted to celebrate that.

Layla had given to either getting pissed or crying hysterical whenever anybody mentioned anything remotely related to Gertie. Hence, the Death Eater disappearance. First she got mad, and then Lily found her in the Room of Requirement crying her eyes out. Lily hoped this would pass when Gertie's birthday was over.

THE DAY AFTER GERTIE'S BIRTHDAY

Lily held tight to Layla as she cried.

"You know," said Layla, "Gertie had so many plans. She wanted to help the world, get rid of muggle hate, and do so much more. And she would have been so successful!"

"I know, I know," Lily said comfortingly. She instinctively kissed Layla on the cheek. Lily thought about Sirius.

"But she's watching over us," Lily said, "She's in a better place now."

Layla glared at her.

"What if I want her to be in a worse place? What if don't want her over me? What if I want her face to face?"

Lily smiled.

"We don't have much choice over that."

Layla didn't reply. She stood up, gave Lily a hug, and then went down to her own dormitory to go to sleep. Lily lied down on her bed as she left. She muttered a soft "Damn" for reasons unknown, and closed her eyes. She fell asleep.

Little did she know, that every night, a certain someone would come up the girl's dormitory, just to watch her sleep. Little did she know, that that certain someone was James Potter.

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James stood on the first step of the girl's dormitory, waiting for it to turn into a slide. He knew how to walk up slides. It honestly wasn't that hard. When it did, he grabbed the rails and slowly made his way up the slide. He couldn't sleep if he didn't see _her_ sleep.

He opened the door and walked to the last bed in the dorm. Slowly, James pulled open the curtain and saw her face, her cheeks covered with red strands of hair, and her chest rising and falling. He loved to watch her sleep. He loved her red hair. He loved her green eyes. He loved the twelve freckles on her nose. He loved her mind. He loved her smile.

He loved everything about her. He loved her.

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The next morning Lily woke up with a severe headache. She didn't know why. She looked at her surroundings and realized she was on the floor. Oh. That was why. Lily put her head in her hands. There was something wet on her forehead. She looked at her hands and saw blood. The blood started to trickle from her forehead to her eyelid. She must have hit something when she fell off the bed.

She went down to see Madam Pomfrey. She hadn't expected anyone to be up at five in the morning, but when she went down she saw James sitting on the couch. He noticed her forehead-but who could miss that?

"Oh my god, Lily what happened?"

"Nothing."

"It's obviously something. You're bleeding!"

"It's nothing. I just fell off the bed, that's all."

"That looks bad. Come on, let me take you to Madam Pomfey's."

"I can go myself, James. Don't worry."

"Look! Your knee is bleeding too!"

Lily looked down at her knee. It was indeed bleeding.

"Well, that's okay. Only my head hurts."

"Geez, Lily, what did you do last night?"

"I dunno. I woke up and I was on the floor."

Lily's head was starting to hurt a lot more. She once again put her head in her hands. For some reason, that made it worse, and Lily collapsed to her knees, which made the bleeding knee hurt too.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

"Lily! Here, let me help you up."

Lily took James' hand and stood up. Her knee was starting to hurt a lot, in addition to her head. James told her he'd take her to the Hospital Wing.

"I can't walk, James."

James just grinned.

"No problem," he said, scooping her up.

"James! Put me down, James!"

"I have to carry you! You can't _fly_ to the Hospital Wing."

"There has to be another way!"

"No. There isn't."

Lily crossed her arms but no longer argued.

"Hey Lily?"

"What?"

"You're really heavy."

Lily glared at him. He laughed.

"I don't mean in that way. I mean, you're my age, you're pretty tall, so yeah, you're heavy."

Lily continued to glare.

"First Layla calls me fat, now you..."

"I didn't call you fat!"

Lily failed to fight back a smile.

"Fine."

They arrived at the Hospital Wing. James put Lily down on one of the beds. Madam Pomfrey rushed toward Lily. By now, the blood almost completely covered the left side of her face, and the blood from her knee reached her foot.

"Oh, dear, what happened?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I woke up on the floor, bleeding like this."

Madam Pomfrey sighed. She studied Lily's wounds.

"Well, it doesn't look too serious."

She brought her wand out and muttered an incantation. Soon, all the blood was cleared and there was no scab, scar, or cut in sight.

"Well, go on dear. Class starts in five minutes."

"Yeah. Thanks, Madam Pomfrey," Lily replied.

Madam Pomfrey smiled and went into her office.

"Hey James?" Lily asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"My knee still hurts."

LILY'S POV

Why was I lying? I don't know. All I know is that, when I said that, James smiled all the way up to his ears. Well, not really. Figure of speech. But, still, his smile was very large.

He didn't say a word as he picked me up and carried me to the Common Room so I could get dressed. I would be late, but it wasn't my fault. Many people stared as we walked by. I had totally forgotten about people...

We saw the three other Marauders walking towards us. Sirius laughed and said,

"What the hell are you two doing?"

"Her knee hurts."

"Yeah. I woke up and it was bleeding."

"So where's the blood?" Remus joined in.

"Uh. Madam Pomfrey cleared it away. But it still hurts."

I could see Sirius was trying very hard not to laugh. Bloody git. What was I doing anyway? Why had I lied to get James to carry me? Well... It did feel kind of nice...

"Well, ok then," said a smiling Remus, "We'll see you two in class."

They're both bloody gits.


	7. Chapter 7

Lily didn't understand what was going on at all. Her mind was a blur as she sat in Transfiguration. Finally, she gave up on paying attention and put her head down. Someone poked her.

She turned to see Remus.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Why was James carrying you this morning?" He asked her, "Not to be nosy or anything but it was just… as strange sight."

"I told you, my knee hurts. I woke up and it was bleeding. I don't know what happened."

"But why was James carrying you?"

"Because I couldn't walk!"

"Let me rephrase that. Why was James carrying you?"

"He was the only one who was up at five to take me to the Hospital Wing."

"But you were walking back from the Hospital Wing!"

"It still hurt."

"Lily, Madam Pomfrey wouldn't make a mistake like that."

"Well…well…"

Lily lowered her voice from a whisper to almost nothing.

"It felt nice, okay?"

Remus looked at her like she was some mutant who grew out of the ground.

"What?"

"I'm not going to repeat that, Remus. There are people here."

"Lily? Are you okay?"

"No, Remus. I really don't think I am."

Remus continued to stare.

"So…it felt nice? It felt nice…"

"Well…"

"Well, James was carrying you. So that means, you think it feels nice lying in his arms."

Lily blushed.

"That doesn't mean I fancy him!"

Remus just smiled.

"I didn't say you did, Lily. I didn't say you did."

"You implied it."

"I didn't. You did."

"What? Look, Remus, I don't know what I was doing, okay? I don't fancy him. I don't fancy him. I don't. I don't fancy him."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

Lily glared.

"Shut up, Remus."

"If you say so…"

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JAMES POV

It was rather nice carrying Lily, but I didn't like to know that it was just because her knee hurt. I stared at her the whole time during Transfiguration. She was talking to Remus…She looked really mad. I wondered what they were talking about.

Sometimes I wonder what she would do if I went up to her, grabbed her, and kissed her. She would probably slap me. But, we're like friends now, right? Well, yeah, we're friends so she would probably still slap me. Friends don't go around snogging each other.

Ew, imagine? If friends went around snogging each other, I'd be snogging Sirius.

Okay, bad thought.

Let's block that out, shall we? Let's replace 'Sirius' with 'Lily'. That's better. And let's take out the 'ew'. Ok, here's my new thought:

Imagine? If friends went around snogging each other, I'd be snogging Lily.

That's a much nicer thought.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?" I turned to look at Lily.

"It's just…I dunno."

"What is it?"

"Well, you know…You know?"

"What?"

"I dunno."

"Lily? Are you okay?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?"

"Because we're concerned. Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Umm…I forgot."

"Are you sure?"

"How could I be not sure that I forgot?"

"I don't even know."

Lily looked at me weirdly and continued with her work.

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LILY'S POV

I didn't forget. I was going to ask James something, but then I realized it was a ridiculous question. Absolutely ridiculous. How could you ask someone if they still like you, and then say 'Oh' and not ask them out if they said yes? That would be weird, not to mention cruel.

James was thinking about something before I came. His face was making weird expressions. First it was grossed out, and then he smiled. I didn't ask him about it though; I don't even think I want to know.

Remus thinks I like him. At least, I think he does. He was all, "You were implying that you fancy him." I was right. He is a bloody git.

Let's get something straight here- I do not fancy James. Or, Potter, or whatever. I don't fancy him, and that's final. Okay? Are we good here? Okay.

Well, maybe I like him a little…But just a little! Just a little…

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((one month later))

LAYLA'S JOURNAL

I need to get a grip. I don't know why, but I've been really emotional about Gertie lately. I wasn't like this before. Maybe it's because Lily's leaving this year. Maybe it's because Gertie's eighteenth birthday was about a month ago. Maybe it's because…I don't know. I just miss her more than ever.

Whenever I feel like this I think, 'At least I have Lily'. She's always been there for me. She's like Gertie, but she could never be Gertie. I know she feels the same way about me.

As I close my eyes and go to sleep, I think about seeing my family. Christmas is coming soon, it's December 8th. I know Lily will be staying here at Hogwarts for her first time. I'm not sad that she won't be coming to see me. I mean, I love her, but I'm with her all the time. The only person I'll really miss is Anthony. I know we'll be owling each other like crazy.

Love,

Layla


	8. Chapter 8

Lily and James had become really close friends in the past two months. It was now late December. She, James, Sirius, and two other Gryffindor third years had the Common Room to themselves. It was nice and cozy without the crowd.

The two third years were apparently asleep as James, Lily, and Sirius were the only ones in the Common Room. Lily sat and thought about how much had changed in only two months. And surprisingly, she was okay with it.

They all sat by the fire, drinking hot cocoa. James watched Lily from the corner of his eye. He noticed she was wearing muggle clothing; shorts and a spaghetti strap shirt, because it was warm inside. Her hair was splayed across her shoulders.

Sirius noticed him staring. He elbowed him in his arms before Lily noticed too. But it was too late. Lily turned and cocked her head to the side.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why were you looking at me?"

"I felt like looking at you."

"Why?"

Sirius covered his mouth to keep from laughing.

"Because…"

"Is there something in my teeth?"

"No!"

"Then why were you looking at me?"

"Because…because you're pretty." James mumbled.

Lily blushed.

"Thanks," she said softly.

Sirius was cracking up behind his hand. The other two didn't notice. They looked at each other for a moment and then looked away. There was an awkward silence.

"Well," Sirius said, trying to break the tension, "Uh, What's up, you guys?"

"Nothing much," Lily and James said in unison.

"Jinx, you owe me a soda!" Lily said.

"What?"

"Muggle thing."

"Oh."

The group began to talk, little words at a time, like 'yeah', and 'mmhm'. But soon it grew into a full conversation, and they were sitting there for hours, just talking. They stopped when they realized it was the middle of lunch. Then, they realized they were starving. Since there were only five people staying, there was sure a lot of food on the Gryffindor table for everyone to eat.

"James, we have to go patrolling tonight. Don't you think that's ridiculous?"

"Yeah. There are only twenty people who didn't go home for Holiday."

"I guess they want us to check the other eighteen people…"

"Eighteen people would be hard to find in this castle," Sirius joined in.

"Yeah, that's true. What's the point of doing patrols?" James asked.

The other two shrugged.

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Lily and James met up by the Gryffindor Common Room to do patrols. For an hour and a half, they made conversation as they walked, but then Lily brought up what happened that morning.

"Why were you really looking at me this morning, James?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

Lily sighed.

"Well, you obviously didn't want to tell me, so you told me I was pretty. Was there something wrong with my hair? Was my expression weird? And again, was there something in my teeth?"

"No. I was telling the truth."

Lily looked at him in surprise.

"Really?"

James just looked at her.

"No."

Lily looked disappointed.

"Oh."

James put her head in his hands. She looked at him, taken aback. Then he did something she would never forget.

He kissed her, full on the lips. He pulled back after a second. Then he whispered in her ear,

"You're beautiful."

Lily stared at him in shock. After a second, James seemed to realize what he had done. His eyes grew wide.

"Oh my god," he said, horrified, "I'm sorry, Lily! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so-"

"Shut up, James."

And she kissed him back.

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SIRIUS' POV

Where are these people? They're only supposed to patrol for an hour and a half. They're like twenty minutes late! Well, I guess it's time to get the Marauder's Map out.

I found them. They're in a classroom? They are standing very, very, close to each other…

Oh. My. God.

I have to find this out for myself.

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JAMES POV

I'm kissing Lily Evans. Lily Evans is kissing me back. She's pushing me up against the wall. This has to be the happiest day of my life.

Except when doorknobs turn.

Lily didn't notice that someone was coming in. She just kept snogging me, so I just kept snogging her. I realized someone was standing there watching us, but I didn't care. Lily Evans was kissing me.

Whoever was there started laughing. I knew that laugh. Lily and I broke apart, and realized that Sirius was our intruder.

"I knew it!" He yelled. Bloody Sirius.

Lily was apparently thinking along the same lines.

"Aww, Sirius you ruin everything!" She whined.

Sirius smirked.

"Fine," he said, "Continue your little songfest."

He left and closed the door.

Lily smiled at me.

"Well, now that he's gone, we can talk about this."

Uh oh.

"Um, ok."

"So what are we now, James?"

"Whatever you want to be."

Lily sighed.

"James?"

I hesitated.

"Yes?"

She seemed to be struggling with her next pair of words.

"James…Will you go out with me?"

Wow. I never thought I would hear her say those words, especially not directed at me. I didn't answer. I just captured her lips in a kiss.

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SIRIUS' POV

Wow. They really did continue their songfest.


	9. Chapter 9

It was nice to see her family, but Layla was ready to go back to Hogwarts. She missed everyone. As she got off the train, she didn't see Anthony. She was confused for a moment, and then she remembered she was supposed to meet her Hufflepuff boyfriend in the Room of Requirement.

She smiled as she walked there; thinking about how much she had missed Anthony. She was right, they did owl each other like crazy, but it wasn't enough. She wanted to see his smile again.

But when she finally got there, she wished she hadn't.

What she saw was her boyfriend, Anthony Jonson, snogging some blonde she didn't even know. Anthony was only in boxers, and the girl's shirt was unbuttoned. They stopped kissing to look at Layla.

"Shit!" Anthony said, "I forgot."

The girl gasped, quickly buttoned her shirt, and ran out, almost shoving Layla to the side. Layla made sure she was gone before slamming the door shut.

"Who was that?" she whispered to Anthony, her face murderous.

"That was no one, Layla."

"What do you mean, that was no one?! You were snogging her, Anthony, and Jesus Christ, will you get dressed?!"

"Look, Layla. When I was snogging her, I was only thinking of you."

"Yeah, because you missed me so much that you forgot I was coming back today."

"I did! I forgot you coming back today, and I needed you, so I pretended someone else was you! I love you, Layla!"

Layla wasn't happy.

"That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard."

"Layla..."

"Anthony, I won't let you do this to me. Do you hear me? You can't do this to me Anthony! YOU CAN'T!"

It was Anthony's turn to get angry.

"I can do whatever the hell I want, Layla!"

"No you can't! You can't cheat on me! You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you ca-"

Suddenly, faster than Layla thought he could, Anthony slapped her in the face.

Layla looked at him in shock. She reached at him, and tried to slap him back, but he was too quick for her. He smacked her hand away, and punched her in her stomach. Layla staggered back, and fell. She did not get up.

"Oh, Lay, Lay, Lay..." Anthony shook his head, "I'm seventeen, and you're fifteen. I'm a man, you're a woman. Do you want to fight me?"

Layla didn't answer.

"That's what I thought," Anthony continued, "Now here's the deal - you're going to stay with me. Okay?"

Layla nodded.

"Now, you can go."

Layla stood up, and left as fast as she could. She went to the bathroom to examine her injuries. She had a small bruise on her stomach, and a big, red, hand mark on her cheek. She sighed. Her cheek was stinging, and her stomach was really in pain.

She waited in the bathroom for the hand print to fade. When it did, she stumbled to the common room, still in shock. She tried her best to put on a fake smile. Lily had written her a letter saying that she and James had gotten together. She was supposed to be happy for them.

She walked in the Common Room, remembering what Lily had told her the password was.

"Layla!"

Layla heard her name five times at once-Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. The Marauders had become her good friends as well. They all hugged and greeted her. Layla didn't say a word.

"Layla?" said James, "Are you ok?"

Before she knew what she was doing, she knelt down on her knees and threw up.

"Yeah, she's just great, James," Sirius said sarcastically.

Lily knelt down next to her.

"You got a stomach ache?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I got train sick."

"Do you want to go to the Hospital Wing?"

"No, I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

Before she could answer, Layla threw up once more. Lily scooted back quickly.

"Come on, Lay, you have to go to the Hospital Wing," Remus said.

Layla didn't say anything. She just stood up and let them walk her there. The only thing she didn't expect was for Madam Pomfrey to examine her stomach. The bruise seemed to have grown.

"Oh, dear, what happened here?"

"I don't know. I've never seen that bruise before."

"I seem to be hearing that too much these days..."

After Lily and the Marauders left, Madam Pomfrey gave Layla a potion that she found quite difficult to drink. It instantly made her stomach feel better, and the bruise went away. She was disappointed when she realized she couldn't have this every time Anthony hurt her. Madam Pomfrey would start to get suspicious.

"How long would it take to make this potion?" she asked Madam Pomfrey.

"Oh, about a year," she replied absently.

_Damn._

"Well, I'm feeling better now. I'm gonna go."

Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"Go, then."

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When Layla reached the Common Room, she was bombarded with questions.

"Are you okay?"(Lily)

"What happened?" (Sirius)

"Do you want to sit down?"(Remus)

"Don't you just _hate_ trains?" (James)

"You're not going to throw up again, are you?" (Peter)

"I'm fine guys," Layla answered, "Look, I'm just gonna go to bed, okay? I'm tired."

They all nodded and Layla went upstairs.

She went to bed, but she didn't sleep that night.


	10. Chapter 10

That morning, Layla saw Lily actually eat her breakfast.

"Progress, Lily," she said, "Progress."

Lily looked at Layla. Her eyes were red and baggy. She looked extremely worn out and miserable. Lily wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Hey, Lay, are you okay?" Sirius asked.

"Hah, Sirius, that rhymed!"

"Shut up, wormtail."

Layla sighed.

"I think I'm coming down with something," she said, not lying, "I'll be alright."

"That's like your signature line," James said. Layla glared. James laughed.

"Sorry Layla. What I mean is, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, okay everyone?" Layla snapped.

The group looked a little hurt, but Layla didn't seem to care. She heard Anthony calling her name. She tried her best to ignore him.

"I think your boyfriend's calling you, Layla," Remus said.

Damn.

"Oh, is he?" Layla said a little shakily, "Well, I'll see you later then."

She walked to the Hufflepuff table. They watched her. They saw Anthony raise his arm, and Layla duck her head. But all Anthony did was put his arm around her…

"Well, that was odd," Lily said.

"Now that you mention it," James said, putting his arm around Lily, "Layla's been acting odd ever since she came back."

"Well, she always acts strange when she's sick…" Lily said, trying to comfort herself.

"I'm sure she's fine," James said, kissing Lily on the cheek.

"You really enjoy these public displays of affection, don't you, James?" Remus asked, smiling.

"I don't do it because it's public," James replied, "I do it because I can."

And with that, totally forgetting that they were in the Great Hall, James kissed Lily. When everybody saw that Lily didn't object, the Great Hall erupted in cheers, and the new couple didn't even break apart.

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LAYLA'S POV

As I watched Lily and James kiss, I couldn't help but release a smile. I had seen this coming ever since they became friends. In fact, I saw this coming way before that. It was kind of obvious, you know. There's a thin line between love and hate. That's what Gertie always told me anyways, when Lily wasn't looking or listening.

"What's so interesting about them, Layla?" Anthony asked me.

"They're my friends," I replied warily.

"So, you like to watch your friends snog?"

"I'm just happy for them."

"We can snog too, Layla."

"I know."

Anthony left it at that.

"Are you okay?" he asked me a few minutes later. Am I okay? No I am not okay! You hit me yesterday, Anthony! You punched me! And do you really think I could sleep last night?

That's what I wanted to say.

"Yes. I'm fine," I said instead.

"Good," he said, "You can go back to your snogging friends if you want now. Meet me in the Room of Requirement next week at ten."

"Yeah, okay," I said leaving, "I'll do that."

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JAMES' POV

I just kissed Lily Evans in front of the whole entire school. She didn't pull away, she didn't slap me, and she didn't look at me like I had grown tentacles. She kissed me back, in front of the whole entire school.

Later, when everyone was sleeping, she came up to my dormitory to find me awake.

"I knew you would be up," she said.

"How?"

"I don't know."

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining, but…"

She laughed.

"I can't sleep."

I squirmed down to make room for her. She lied down next to me.

"James?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder how we got this far?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, one day I hate you, and the next I'm letting you snog me in the Great Hall with everyone looking."

I grinned.

"I dunno, Lily. I guess my persistence paid off. I remember you once saying you'd rather go out with the Giant Squid than me…"

"Oh, that's still true. It's just that the Giant Squid turned me down."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, he had a girlfriend. I was quite heartbroken."

"Now you know how I feel."

"Not anymore."

She kissed me on the cheek, right before she fell asleep. It then occurred to me that I wouldn't have to move this time, just to see her sleeping.

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LILY'S POV

I never thought I would be going out with James Potter. Whenever James asked me out, I pictured it in my head, because you know, he gave me an image. I always pictured it to be horrible. But I'm pretty damn happy. All those years wasted…

Truth was, I liked James ever since the beginning of the school year. I just didn't realize it. Why would I care about things going back to normal if I didn't? It's just when I got close to James, I couldn't deny it anymore. I liked James Potter. What a weird sentence.

I'm going out with James Potter.

What a weirder sentence.

I went to his bed tonight, because I couldn't sleep in my own. God knows why. Anyway, right now, I'm pretending to be asleep, and James is buying it. He's playing with my hair…he just whispered something in my ear. I don't know what.

Normally, I'd sit right up and ask him what he said, but I really am tired, so I think I'll stop pretending.

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"James!" Sirius yelled in James' ear.

Sirius had tried waking him up by whispering in his name in his ear and shaking him, but that wasn't working out. James shot up like someone had just slapped him awake.

"Hello, mate," Sirius said cheerily.

"Aww, Sirius, it's Saturday!"

"I know. What's Miss Lily doing in your bed?"

James looked beside him. He'd forgotten that Lily was there. She was almost falling off the bed. He got up and carefully moved her to the middle of the bed so she could sleep more comfortably. She rolled over but didn't wake up.

"Uh, Prongs, are you gonna answer me, or just stare at Lily?"

"She said she couldn't sleep."

"You think she had a bad dream or something?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"She's sweating like hell."

James put a hand to Lily's forehead. When he removed it, he found that his hand was wet and sticky.

"Maybe…" James mumbled.

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe she had a bad dream. Like you said. I think I'll wake her up."

"Lils…" he whispered in her ear, "Lilyyyy..."

Lily, unlike James, was a light sleeper. She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

"Hi."

"You're sweating."

Lily frowned.

"Well, that's a nice morning greeting."

Sirius snorted.

"Did you have a bad dream, or something?" James asked.

"No, it's just really hot in here. It's not like this in the girls dormitories!"

"But Sirius and I aren't sweating."

"Well, you sleep here everyday. I'm not used to it. What time is it, anyways?"

"Oh, it's noon," Sirius said, nonchalantly.

"NOON?" James and Lily asked in unison.

"We slept till noon?!" Lily asked panicking, "I was supposed to leave in the middle of the night! I can't go down there from the boy's dormitories!"

"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap," James chanted, pacing. Then suddenly he stopped and reached under his bed. He pulled out his broom. Lily understood immediately.

"James, look at me," she said, "I am wearing a tank top and shorts. It is early February."

James had a pained expression on his face.

"Are you going to stay here all day?"

"I'd rather stay here all day than freeze."

"Ummm…how about this?"

He threw a long sleeved blue T-shirt at her. He began digging through his suitcase, which he never unpacked, for some leg wear.

"Where'd you get all these muggle clothes?"

"Half blood older cousin," James replied absently.

"Hand me downs?"

"Yep."

"I thought you were rich or something?"

"I am. He didn't know what to with these after they didn't fit him."

He threw her some jeans. She went to the bathroom to put the clothes on. They were extremely large on her. She came out. Sirius and James stared.

"I look ridiculous."

"You look fine, Lilykins."

"Don't call me Lilykins, James."

"Why?"

"It brings back memories of the you in fourth year."

"What was wrong with the me in fourth year?"

Lily looked at him.

"Everything."

James frowned as Sirius laughed.

"Lilykins sounds too sickeningly sweet, anyways," Sirius stated. This time, Lily frowned.

"You know what James? You can call me Lilykins."

James beamed. Sirius looked confused.

"What? Why?"

Lily shrugged.

"I like disagreeing with you."

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James flew Lily to the window of the girl's dormitories so that Lily could get dressed in clothes that actually fit her, and come down from the girl's dormitories so no one would suspect anything. He used his wand to open the window.

"Alright," he said, as Lily crawled off the broom, "I'll see you in a few minutes, Lilykins."

Lily rolled her eyes and waved.

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LAYLA'S POV

I wonder what awaits me next week. Will Anthony hit me again? Will we just snog me and forget about everything? Will things get better?

Even if they do, I would never be able to forgive him for what he did. I was weak, defenseless, so terribly angry that I was probably shaking. He took advantage of me.

But still, maybe he won't hurt me again…

Deep in my heart, I knew he would.


	11. Chapter 11

Well, it's been about a month since the first time Anthony hurt me. There have been about ten late night meetings at the R&R (room of requirement) and I have about five bruises in places that no one can see. Clever, clever, Anthony.

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. The girls in my dorm all go into dreamland about two hours before I do, so no one hears me. It's something about their beauty sleep. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't tell anyone. He'll kill me.

Yes, I know that sounds a little dramatic. But Anthony is no regular, loyal, kind, hardworking Hufflepuff. The idiot belongs in Slytherin. I've been there when he has lengthy conversations with those gits, talking about how they 'can't wait to join the Dark Lord'. Anthony's already a Death Eater, apparently. I'm dating an abusive Death Eater who's two years older than I am.

I've always wanted to be in this situation.

I was tired and sad before this whole thing. Now, I'm exhausted and depressed. The stupid Marauders and Lily are beginning to notice, too. If they find out anything, they're dead, and I'm dead. Because I'm sure Anthony does not want to spend the rest of his life rotting in Azkaban, not only for abusing me, but for joining You Know Who.

They would find that out too, of course, because if he's already going to jail for abusing me, why not tell them about him being a Death Eater? But, whatever. The point is, I'm stuck. The only reason I'm not telling is because if I do, I'll get whoever I told killed. It's not really about me; I'm probably going to die soon anyways. Maybe not in the hands of Anthony, but in You Know Who's, or some other Death Eater.

I have such a massive headache right now; I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I'm at breakfast. I've barely touched my food. Lily is looking at me weirdly. She's starting to get suspicious.

I put on my fake smile and ask her how she is. She gives me an even weirder look. Best friends don't ask each other how they are. That's for acquaintances. She replies with a 'fine' and goes back to talking to James. That's what I love about our friendship. We can always sense when the other can just not talk about things.

I love that.

But maybe I need to be prodded. Maybe someone needs to ask me 'what's wrong?' and wait, but I don't answer, and they keep asking, until I break down and cry and tell them everything. Maybe...

Maybe it would be better if Anthony had not just whisked me from my friends and demanded that I sit with him. Maybe I wouldn't feel so sick if Lily and the Marauders hadn't just waved goodbye and winked at me as I left.

Maybe it would be better if I could think.

But I can't think straight. I don't know how.

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LILY'S POV

I think I'm starting to get over the fact that Layla's going out with Anthony. Anthony seems really happy to be with her. I think maybe he's finally found the right girl.

Layla's pretty out of it though. She's out of everything. I'm real worried about her. And I wish that James wouldn't hold me so softly that every little worry flies out of my head. Because then I stop worrying about Layla. And then I'll stop worrying about being able to help her. And I'm afraid something terrible will happen.

Layla has her hair down, covering her face, all the time now. She never used to do that. She rarely talks. She used to be a right chatter box. She doesn't smile much. And that's what worries me the most.

Layla almost busted a gut on _Gertie's birthday._ And now she's not even smiling. I want to know what the cause of this is, but it is evident that she doesn't want to talk.

So, until she tells me what's up, I'm just going to try and make her happy. I hope it works.

00000000000000000000000000

_Smack._

Layla felt at strong hand collide with her face. She closed her eyes as she felt hot tears pour down her face. She and Anthony weren't even in the R&R. They were in a hallway. A very dark, empty, hallway, nevertheless, but still a hallway, so Anthony didn't do anything else.

"How dare you say that to me," Anthony seethed.

Layla sucked in a breath.

"All I said," she started, trembling, "was that you are making a mistake with those Death Eaters. You can do so much better Anthony! No! Please listen!"

But Anthony didn't listen. He pushed her and left her in the middle of the corridor, alone.

Or so she thought.

As she sat against the wall, as silent tears fell down her face, as her ears rung loudly, she felt a hand close around her neck.

"Don't mess with Anthony, mudblood," an unrecognizable voice said, "Or you will pay."

And for the second time that night, she felt a hand slap her across her cheek, but this time with much more force. She fell against the floor, her head softly bleeding. There was no one there to help her when she whispered,

_"Help."_

**A/N: Hey, I know it's been a pretty long time since I updated, but I wanted to see if I got at least ONE more review. I have eleven chapters and eight reviews, that's kinda sad. So this is what I'm gonna do...**

**I'm not gonna post the next chapter until I have AT LEAST 25 reviews. So review away! By the way, I won't count it if it's a review from the same person more than twice. All I want is twenty five reviews! REVIEW! The little button is right down there. There is no next chapter till I see the the number 25 on my review thingy.**


	12. Authors Note

Hey guys, I know I haven't updated in a while. I am sooo sorry, I hate it when people take long to update but now I know how they feel. I know I said you wouldn't see another chapter until I had 25 reviews but I decide to give up on that. I wrote the next chapter. My computer broke down and I have the whole chapter written on that computer - so I have to wait until it's fixed and 'till then I'm using this lap top. The other chapter might not be for a while...I hope I get my computer back because I feel really guilty not updating - and I have the whole chapter written out! I'm sorry...

I also have a bad case of writer's block, so the next chapter might not be my best. I am sorry about that too. I have a whole lot of sorries to give out, huh?

Anyways...Well, when I have writer's block for a particular story, I always find it helps to write another one. I can't think of any one-shots so I think I'm gonna start on a new chapter story. I know that's terrible, working on two stories at once, but I've had an urge to since...well, a long time. Plus, I don't really like the way Changes is turning out. I think I put Lily and James together too fast, so I would like to try on another one, but don't worry, I'm still finishing this story! I refuse to let myself discontinue it, no matter how badly I screwed up.

So...leave a review if you have anything to say about this, and sorry again.


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